Beyond Intervention: Why Foster Care Must Be Paired with Adoption Competent Mental Health Care

Beyond Intervention: Why Foster Care Must Be Paired with Adoption Competent Mental Health Care

Beyond Intervention: Why Foster Care Must Be Paired with Adoption Competent Mental Health Care

Recent commentary from the Child Welfare Wonk article, Weekly Wonk: Foster Care as Children’s Behavioral Health Policy, highlights a critical reality: foster care is increasingly serving as a de facto mental health intervention for children and youth. This framing reflects what many professionals in child welfare and behavioral health already know: children impacted by child welfare care often present with significant, complex mental health needs shaped by trauma, loss, and disrupted relationships.

Emerging perspectives from Child Welfare Wonk underscore several important shifts in how foster care is functioning within today’s service landscape:

  • Foster care is increasingly functioning as a frontline mental health response, with many children entering care due to unmet behavioral health needs rather than solely safety concerns.
  • The child welfare system is not designed to deliver mental health treatment, creating a mismatch between children’s needs and the services they receive while in care.
  • There is a critical shortage of accessible, appropriate mental health services for children and families, which contributes to system strain, placement instability, and poorer outcomes.

But if foster care is being used as a mental health response, we must ask a harder question: Are we equipping systems to meet those needs effectively?

Foster Care Is Not an Intervention. Relationships Are.

Foster care, in itself, does not treat trauma. Placement alone cannot address grief, identity development, attachment disruptions, or the lifelong need for connection and belonging. What matters most is what happens within and around that placement:

  • The quality of relationships
  • The stability of caregiving environments
  • Access to responsive, specialized mental health services

Without these, foster care risks becoming a system that contains need rather than heals it.

The Missing Link: Adoption Competent Mental Health Care

If we accept that many children in foster care require mental health support, then we must also recognize that not all mental health care is equipped to meet their needs. Adoption competent mental health care provides a critical, often missing layer of support by ensuring that providers are trained to:

  • Understand behavior through the lens of trauma, loss, and relationships
  • Support attachment between children and caregivers
  • Help children and youth make meaning of their experiences and identity
  • Engage families as central partners in healing

Adoption competence is not a niche specialization. It is a necessary adaptation of mental health systems to better serve children impacted by child welfare.

From Crisis Response to System Design

The current reliance on foster care as a mental health intervention reflects broader gaps in upstream prevention and in community-based services. However, it also presents an opportunity to redesign systems so that placement is not the primary intervention, but part of a coordinated, healing-centered approach. This means:

  • Integrating adoption competent practices across mental health and child welfare systems
  • Building workforce capacity through training and implementation support
  • Strengthening cross-system collaboration so services are aligned, not fragmented
  • Centering lived experience to ensure services reflect real needs
A Path Forward

We do not need to choose between child welfare and mental health. We need to align them more effectively. By embedding adoption competence into systems of care, we can move from:

  • Placement to purposeful permanency
  • Crisis response to sustained well-being
  • Services to relationships that heal

Foster care may continue to play a role in meeting children’s needs. But without the right support, it cannot and should not be the intervention itself.

Children and families deserve more than placement. They deserve systems designed for healing.

Looking for Additional Resources?

Visit the Knowledge Hub to access models of intervention, training resources, and practical tools to strengthen cross-system collaboration and improve outcomes for children, youth, and families. 

Building Trust After Trauma: Supporting Children in Adoptive and Foster Families 

Building Trust After Trauma: Supporting Children in Adoptive and Foster Families 

Building Trust After Trauma: Supporting Children in Adoptive and Foster Families 

Placement, no matter how well-intended, is a significant transition. Children and youth who have been impacted by child welfare often experience early trauma, loss, disrupted attachments, and grief, which causes adaptive survival responses that can be mistaken for challenging behaviors. Because these children have adverse childhood experiences, such as exposure to neglect, substance use, violence, and placement instability, they are more likely to encounter mental health challenges. These challenges shape how they view the world, interact with caregivers, and assess safety.  

When a child is subject to an unsafe or unstable environment, they develop survival strategies that help them cope, but those strategies can cause conflict within a family. Common behaviors include:  

  • Emotional withdrawal (as evident by pushing people away, specifically caregivers) 

  • Social relationship deficits 

  • Emotional dysregulation 

  • Poor inhibitory control 

  • Increased psychological reactivity 

Rather than viewing these behaviors as destructive or defiant, parents and caregivers should respond with empathy, a focus on strengthening attachment, and recognize that trust-building is an ongoing process. Behavior often reflects fear, not defiance. By lea ing practical ways to respond to a child’s unmet needs as reflected through behavior, parents and caregivers can create a safe, stable environment that increases permanency and strengthens familial relationships over time.  

Safe Space: The First Step to Building Trust 

Parents and caregivers of children affected by child welfare can begin building trust by understanding the importance of safety. Safety extends beyond physical care to emotional security. Safety is fostered by sensitivity, consistency, and emotional presence. Some ways that caregivers can support children in feeling safe include:  

  • Respond with EmpathyShowing love, empathy, and support while allowing children to identify and express their feelings  

  • Create PredictabilityMaintaining consistency in routines, boundaries, and expectations so a child doesn’t have to guess what happens next 

  • Model Positive Behaviors: Modeling patience, resilience, emotional regulation, consistency, and accountability 

  • Address Physical Safety: Assuring children that they are physically safe can help them develop feelings of trust and openness to psychological and emotional well-being 

Image of Caregiver (Parents) embracing adopted/foster children.

Connection, Not Control 

Caregivers must prioritize relationship-building over compliance. Although structure is an integral part of a child’s development, children who have experienced complex trauma benefit more when they experience a connection that makes them feel seen, valued, and supported.  There are several ways for caregivers to foster connections. They include: 

  •  Family FunEngaging in family activities and meaningful interactions without pressure 
  • You BelongImplementing parts of the child’s life into everyday family life to make them feel included 

  • Get to Know MeExpressing genuine interest in a child’s life, preferences, and experiences 

  • I’m Here for YouShowing empathy and curiosity about their behavior, rather than just condemning it or rushing to implement consequences 

  • I Understand: Identifying and validating a child’s emotions without judgment 

When caregivers focus on relationships rather than control, children internalize an essential message: my caregiver is safe, even when I face challenges. 

Image of Caregiver (Parents) interacting with adopted/foster child in a playful matter.

Securing Attachment 

Secure attachment develops when a child recognizes a caregiver as consistent, reliable, and emotionally available. Securing attachment after experiencing trauma takes time and work on the part of both the child and the caregiver. Still, it provides a sense of safety that children who have been impacted by child welfare may not have ever experienced in their short lifetime. Caregivers can support secure attachment by:  

  • Responding to emotional needs, even when those emotions may feel overwhelming or repetitive 

  • Foster an environment that allows children to depend on adults, rather than pushing for them to be independent 

  • Working with an adoption competent therapist who can assist in implementing interventions and strategies that can foster parent-child attachment 

Securing attachment takes time and patience, as many children may not be receptive at first. Some children may initially resist attachment behaviors, such as seeking comfort or asking for help. Others may appear overly clingy or anxious. Both responses are normal and reflect a child’s past experiences, not their future potential. Regardless of how children respond, caregivers must be present during their most difficult moments.  

How Can Adoption Competence Help? 

Parenting children impacted by trauma is complex, but caregivers do not have to do it alone. Adoption competent mental health providers understand how early adversity, attachment disruptions, and loss affect children and families. Seeking support early can make a significant difference, not because something is wrong, but because healing occurs best in safe and supportive relationships.  

The National Center offers an array of resourcestraining, and support to help children and families affected by child welfare heal, thrive, and achieve permanence. The National Center trains mental health providers who can support caregivers in understanding trauma-driven behaviors, provide interventions that focus on strengthening relationships rather than just reducing symptoms, and help families navigate challenges without shame or blame.  

Hope and Healing 

Building trust after trauma is a gradual process. Progress might seem slow, uneven, or difficult to measure. There may be setbacks, regressions, and moments of doubt. But every calm response, every repaired moment, and every consistent act of care matters. Children heal through relationships, and caregivers play a vital role in helping them understand that adults can be safe, reliable, and loving. Trust is built one interaction at a time, and over time, these moments add up to something enduring. By approaching parenting with patience, empathy, and trauma-aware understanding, families affected by child welfare foster the conditions for healing, connection, and stability. 

Image of a family consisting of caregivers (Parents) and adopted/foster child interacting with a counselor in their home.

 

Looking for Additional Resources?

Visit the Knowledge Hub to access models of intervention, training resources, and practical tools to strengthen cross-system collaboration and improve outcomes for children, youth, and families. 

Promoting Mental Health for Families and Children 

Promoting Mental Health for Families and Children 

Promoting Mental Health for Families and Children 

Written by Erin Bader  

We are focused on mental wellness this month to recognize the critical importance of addressing mental health. Mental wellness is the ability to manage life’s stresses, adapt to change, and navigate difficult times successfully. The National Institutes of Health provides practical tips for promoting wellness, including building resilience, reducing stress, coping with loss, and strengthening social connections. The Center on the Developing Child’s paper addresses the impact of addressing mental wellness on a child’s development.

The science of early childhood development highlights that the foundation for mental health is established early in life through experiences that shape the developing brain. Relationships with parents, caregivers, teachers, and peers play a critical role in social, emotional, and cognitive development. While cognition and language receive significant attention, addressing emotional and behavioral difficulties early is crucial, as these issues can hinder learning and relationships. The emotional and behavioral needs of children are best met through coordinated services that focus on their full environment of relationships.  

Significant mental health problems can emerge in young children and often reflect early abuse, neglect, or prolonged adversity. These experiences, combined with genetic predispositions, can prime stress systems and lead to lasting physical and mental health issues. However, genetics interact with the environment, and supportive interventions can mitigate the effects of early stress, promoting better developmental outcomes and preventing lifelong challenges. So, for children, youth, and families involved in the child welfare system, promoting mental wellness is essential and may require additional strategies and support. Child welfare and mental health professionals play a key role in this process.

Adoption competent mental health services highlight the importance of professionals building partnerships with youth and their families—a process that requires vulnerability, authenticity, mutual trust, patience, and flexibility.    As families work to address and heal from the adversity associated with child welfare involvement, child welfare and mental health professionals can implement strategies to promote mental wellness for both children and their parents. Effective interventions should include parents, as they provide a foundation of security and love that helps children feel cherished and develop hope for the future. When children understand they are valued, they gain self-worth and confidence, empowering them to face challenges. Parents are instrumental in teaching children that life is about thriving, not just surviving, and reaching their full potential.   

Strategies to Promote Mental Wellness in Children and Youth 

  • Create routine and structure to provide stability and predictability. 
  • Encourage open communication about their experiences, allowing them to set the pace. 
  • Validate their emotions, including grief, loss, anger, and confusion. 
  • Teach self-regulation skills to help them manage emotions and stay calm. 
  • Foster a safe environment where they can freely express themselves. 
  • Promote healthy stress management through physical activity, creative outlets, mindfulness, or hobbies. 
  • Engage in activities that strengthen family connections and build positive memories. 
  • Encourage involvement in activities where they can excel and feel accomplished. 
  • Connect with support groups or other families to create a sense of community and shared understanding. 

 

Strategies to Promote Mental Wellness in Parents 

  • Help parents understand and foster their child’s sense of belonging and connection.
  • Use adoptive parent competencies to enhance parents’ ability to meet their child’s needs. 
  • Teach parents to avoid personalizing their child’s behaviors or emotions. 
  • Provide strategies to support self-esteem. 
  • Strengthen parents’ resilience so they can model healthy coping skills for their children. 
  • Encourage healthy relationship-building between parent partners through mutual respect, communication, and problem-solving.

 

By integrating these strategies, families can strengthen their mental wellness and build a foundation for thriving together. 

Looking for Additional Resources?

Visit the Knowledge Hub to access models of intervention, training resources, and practical tools to strengthen cross-system collaboration and improve outcomes for children, youth, and families. 

The Complex Relationship with Medication: Insights from Foster Care Youth 

The Complex Relationship with Medication: Insights from Foster Care Youth 

The Complex Relationship with Medication: Insights from Foster Care Youth 

Navigating mental health as a youth in foster care can be incredibly challenging, particularly when it comes to the use of medication. While many young people access mental health services and pharmacotherapies during their time in care, the reality shifts dramatically after they leave care.   

Understanding the Landscape 

Research shows that while youth in foster care have relatively high rates of accessing mental health services and medications, many stop taking these medications after exiting care. Alarmingly, a significant number of young adults report that they discontinue pharmacotherapy of their own accord and without medical supervision. This raises important questions about the adequacy of support systems in place for those transitioning out of foster care.   

The Barriers to Medication Adherence 

For many young adults leaving foster care, the jou ey to maintaining mental health is fraught with obstacles: 

  1. Limited Access to Services: After exiting care, many youth struggle to find accessible mental health services. This can lead to gaps in support that leave them feeling vulnerable and unsupported.
  2. Financial Constraints: The costs associated with medications and therapy can be overwhelming for young people trying to establish their independence. Many find themselves unable to afford the treatments that could help them manage their mental health.
  3. Lack of Guidance: The absence of ongoing support from mental health professionals can make it difficult for youth to make informed decisions about their treatment, leading to a higher likelihood of stopping medication without proper consultation. 

The Protective Factors at Play 

Research identifies three critical protective factors that can help young people manage their mental health effectively: 

  • Therapeutic Support: Access to individual and group therapy provides a space for emotional expression and healing, essential for managing conditions like PTSD, anxiety, and depression. 
  • Mental Health Medications: For many, these medications play a vital role in stabilizing their mental health, particularly during difficult transitions. 
  • Sense of Competence: Building self-efficacy and confidence in one’s ability to manage challenges can significantly impact overall well-being. 

Real Voices, Real Experiences 

To truly understand the complexities of medication use among youth in foster care, it’s important to listen to their voices. Richard, a Lived Experience Leader, shares what he went through during his time in care:   

Concerns About Unnecessary Prescriptions

“When I was in group homes, there were a lot of kids that had been prescribed medication that they didn’t need. They had talked to the psychiatrist and said they had many different ‘symptoms’ that were made up. The psychiatrist didn’t take the time to check on the problem before prescribing medications.” This reflects a critical concern: the lack of thorough assessment and individualized care can lead to mistrust in the mental health system, making young people hesitant to engage with medication.   

Fear of Dependency

“My first therapist was very focused on getting me to take medication. I remember two things from that time: yoga sessions with my cousin and the constant emphasis on medication. I always felt a resistance to this approach. I didn’t want to rely on medication for my happiness; the thought of it scared me. What if, once I was off the medication, I couldn’t feel happiness on my own? I worried it would create a false sense of positivity.”    This fear is widespread among youth, illustrating the anxiety around dependency on medication for emotional well-being.   

Feeling Overwhelmed and Isolated

“The insistence on medication started to feel overwhelming. It led to a sense of resentment—not just toward the therapy itself, but also toward the therapist. It felt like they weren’t really listening to me, as if my personal struggles were reduced to checkboxes on a form. In a world where we crave connection and understanding, this lack of genuine engagement can make us feel isolated.”    This highlights a critical gap in mental health care: the need for a therapeutic approach that prioritizes listening and understanding over simply prescribing solutions. 

Moving Toward Better Support 

Addressing the complexities surrounding medication for youth in foster care requires a multifaceted approach. Mental health systems must focus on providing accessible, individualized care that genuinely listens to the experiences and concerns of young people.    Creating a supportive environment where youth feel empowered to make informed decisions about their mental health can make a significant difference in their well-being. By advocating for more comprehensive support systems and prioritizing authentic engagement, we can help ensure that young adults leaving foster care have the tools they need to navigate their mental health journey successfully.    The relationship with medication is a complex and often challenging aspect of mental health for youth in foster care. By understanding the barriers they face and amplifying their voices, we can work toward a system that truly supports their needs and fosters resilience. Together, we can help create a brighter future for all young people navigating the often turbulent waters of mental health.    

 

Looking for Additional Resources?

Visit the Knowledge Hub to access models of intervention, training resources, and practical tools to strengthen cross-system collaboration and improve outcomes for children, youth, and families. 

Embracing Normalcy: Finding Balance in Mental Health and Growing Up 

Embracing Normalcy: Finding Balance in Mental Health and Growing Up 

 

Embracing Normalcy: Finding Balance in Mental Health and Growing Up 

We’re diving into a super important topic that affects many young people in care: normalcy and mental health. As young people navigate the ups and downs of life, it’s essential to reflect on what “normal” really means and how it impacts their mental well-being.   

What is Normalcy Anyway? 

First off, let’s break down what we mean by normalcy. It often refers to the everyday experiences and activities that most people take for granted. Think sleepovers, driving lessons, or even just hanging out with friends after school. For many, these activities are part of growing up, but for others—especially those in challenging situations like foster care or those facing mental health struggles—normalcy can feel like a distant dream.    As one of our Lived Experience Leaders wisely noted, “The system is often so overprotective that it stifles growth and development (no sleepovers, driving lessons, etc.).” This quote highlights how sometimes the very systems designed to protect young people in care can unintentionally hold them back. It’s crucial to find a balance between safety and growth, allowing young people to experience life fully while still having support.   

The Importance of Experiences 

Experiencing “normal” activities can significantly impact a young person’s mental health. These activities help build confidence, develop skills, and connect with others. For those in care or facing other challenges, these moments might be fewer and far between. But that doesn’t mean they’re impossible!    Reflecting on a personal experience, one Lived Experience Leader shared, “Normalcy does not apply for my longest placements. But for the placement when I was 17 preparing to age out of care, I was assigned an Independent Living Worker, and she taught me budgeting; we practiced shopping for groceries, and she helped me apply to colleges and scholarships.” This story emphasizes the importance of mentorship and support systems that can provide those essential experiences.   

Finding Your Own Normal 

So, how can young people create their own version of normalcy? Here are a few tips: 

  • Seek Opportunities: Look for programs or workshops in their community that teach life skills, whether it’s cooking, budgeting, or preparing for college. These experiences can be very empowering!
  • Build a Support Network: Surround themselves with people who understand their jou ey—friends, mentors, or counselors. Having a support system can make a world of difference.
  • Take Small Steps: Start with little challenges that push a young person out of their comfort zone. It could be planning a small outing with friends or trying a new hobby. Each step counts!
  • Practice Self-Care: Remembering, it’s okay to take a break. Prioritizing mental health by engaging in activities that help them relax and recharge.
  • Reflect on Your Growth: Regularly take a moment to acknowledge how far they’ve come. Celebrating small victories is crucial for maintaining a positive mindset.

Final Thoughts 

In a world that often feels overwhelming, a young person in care embracing their own sense of normalcy can be a powerful tool for mental health. While some may face additional barriers, it’s essential to remember that growth and development are possible with the right support and opportunities.  Let’s advocate for a world where every young person has the chance to experience those everyday moments that shape who they are. Whether it’s through mentorship, community programs, or just having a friend to lean on, we can all contribute to a brighter future.  Stay strong, stay connected, and keep growing!     

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The Heart of Visitation: A Youth Perspective on Connection and Mental Health 

The Heart of Visitation: A Youth Perspective on Connection and Mental Health 

The Heart of Visitation: A Youth Perspective on Connection and Mental Health 

Navigating the child welfare system is like walking a tightrope. On one side, there’s the hope of stability and safety; on the other, the painful reality of separation from family and friends. Young people in care often find themselves grappling with feelings of isolation, longing, and loss. One crucial element that can make all the difference is visitation, and the challenges that come with it can deeply affect their mental health. 

The Distance Dilemma 

Many youth face physical distances that keep them apart from families. One Lived Experience Leader shared, “My mom wasn’t able to visit me because the facility I was in was hours away from our community. She couldn’t afford to take the whole day off work, as visiting hours were limited to business hours.” This is a reality many young people encounter: their homes and their support systems are suddenly far away, making it almost impossible for their loved ones to connect with them.  “These barriers aren’t just logistical; they’re emotional. When you’re already feeling displaced, knowing that your family wants to visit but can’t adds another layer of heartache. It creates an overwhelming sense of abandonment and contributes to the mental health challenges young people face. They’re left feeling like they’re drifting further away from the people who matter most, which can lead to anxiety, depression, and a feeling of helplessness.”   

Why would a lack of visitation—when a youth knows their family wants to visit—create a sense of abandonment? 

When a young person is aware that their family wants to be present but is unable to visit, it can evoke feelings of rejection and abandonment. The youth may inte alize this inability to connect as a personal failing or an indication that they are not worth the effort. This dissonance between the desire for connection and the reality of separation can exacerbate feelings of loneliness and worthlessness, leading to profound emotional distress.   

Why would a family want to visit, but not be able to? 

There are various reasons families may want to visit but face obstacles. Logistics such as distance, transportation problems, or financial constraints can play a significant role. Additionally, systemic barriers like legal restrictions, scheduling conflicts, or lack of support from the systems involved can further complicate matters. Emotional challenges within the family, such as mental health issues or unresolved conflicts, may also impede their ability to follow through with visits, despite their desire to connect.   

How does ‘drifting away’ lead to all of these different emotions? 

The feeling of “drifting away” can be particularly distressing because it signifies a loss of connection and support. As young people feel increasingly disconnected from their loved ones, they may grapple with a sense of helplessness and hopelessness. This emotional distancing can trigger anxiety as they worry about the stability of their relationships and their future. It can also lead to depression, as feelings of isolation and despair deepen. Ultimately, this drifting away creates a cycle of negative emotions, making it even harder for them to reach out for help or maintain healthy relationships, further entrenching their sense of abandonment and emotional   Understanding these emotional layers is crucial for supporting young people facing such challenges. Recognizing the impact of visitation barriers can help inform strategies for reconnecting families, providing meaningful support, and fostering resilience in the face of adversity.   

Letters of Connection 

In the face of separation, many young people try to maintain bonds in any way they can. Lived Experience Leader Izzy Rodriguez recalls: “When I first entered care in 2016, I was placed in a home far away from my siblings. A last resort… a ‘this is who will take you’ placement. I wrote to my younger siblings daily… several times each day. They sometimes wrote me back.” Writing became a lifeline, a way to keep the family ties strong and remind ourselves that we’re still connected.  Izzy continues that in those letters, “we promised each other that ‘the Rodriguez name would never cease to empower us’ and that we were ‘stronger than this system.’” Those words held immense power, helping us feel like we still had a place in the world despite the chaos around us. But as time passed, the letters began to dwindle. “One day… the letters stopped coming. And soon after, I stopped writing.”  The end of that correspondence felt like a severing of ties. Without the active support of the adults in their lives, young people are often left to navigate the emotional fallout alone. With so little control over their circumstances, losing the ability to nurture those sibling relationships can feel like yet another loss—a loss of connection, love, and hope.  This void magnifies the struggles they face, making it even harder to cope with the challenges of their environment. The absence of those letters symbolizes not just the loss of communication, but also the fading of shared dreams and mutual support. As siblings, we once derived strength from each other, but now, without that connection, the sense of isolation grows deeper.  The emotional impact is profound; young people are left to wrestle with feelings of abandonment and disconnection, amplifying their vulnerability in a system that often feels indifferent. The very essence of who we are—the strength we drew from our shared identity—starts to fray. We need to recognize that these relationships are crucial for resilience, and without intentional efforts to rebuild those bonds, the hope we once nurtured may slip away. It’s a stark reminder that connection is not just a luxury; it’s essential for healing and navigating the complexities of life.   

The Role of Professionals 

These are complex and sensitive topics that require careful consideration and a compassionate approach. Here’s a guide on how to address each of these nuances when discussing them with mental health providers:

Unhealthy Relationships Between Siblings

    • Acknowledge the Issue: Start by describing the specific dynamics that are unhealthy. Are there patterns of bullying, rivalry, or emotional neglect? 
    • Express the Impact: Share how these relationships affect emotional well-being and daily functioning. 
    • Explore Solutions: Discuss potential interventions, such as family therapy, conflict resolution strategies, or individual counseling for siblings to address underlying issues.

Addressing Sexual Abuse

    • Prioritize Safety: Emphasize the importance of creating a safe space for the child. This might involve discussing safety planning and protective measures.
    • Share Experiences: If the child has disclosed abuse, explain their feelings and experiences without pressuring them to share more than they’re comfortable with. 
    • Seek Professional Help: Request specialized therapy that focuses on trauma-informed care, emphasizing the need for a professional experienced in handling such cases.

Parentification

  • Define Parentification: Explain how the child is taking on adult responsibilities, and how this affects their emotional development. 
  • Impact Discussion: Highlight the emotional burden this places on the child and how it may lead to anxiety or depression. 
  • Explore Interventions: Ask about strategies to restore healthy boundaries within the family and support the child’s developmental needs.

Unhealthy Relationships with Parents

  • Identify Specific Issues: Clarify the nature of the unhealthy dynamics, whether it’s emotional neglect, control issues, or inconsistent support. 
  • Discuss Feelings: Share how these relationships impact the child’s self-esteem and mental health. 
  • Explore Support Options: Discuss family therapy or individual counseling for the child to develop coping strategies and establish healthier communication.  

 Parent Not Showing Up for Visits

  • Emphasize the Impact: Talk about how the absence affects the child’s emotional state and sense of worth. 
  • Discuss Alternatives: Ask about alternative approaches, like virtual visits or rescheduling, and how to process these feelings with the child. 
  • Support for the Child: Discuss how to help the child cope with disappointment and reinforce their value and importance.

Disregulation After Visits

  • Describe Observations: Share specific behaviors that indicate disregulation after visits and the frequency of these occurrences. 
  • Explore Underlying Causes: Discuss potential triggers related to the visits and whether the child feels overwhelmed or unsupported during or after. 
  • Collaborate on Solutions: Propose gradual changes, like shorter visits or additional support, to help the child manage their feelings.

Runaway Behavior After Visits

  • Acknowledge Concerns: Validate the seriousness of the runaway behavior and its implications for safety. 
  • Assess the Triggers: Discuss what specific aspects of the visits may contribute to this behavior (e.g., emotional distress, unresolved conflicts). 
  • Develop a Safety Plan: Collaborate with the mental health provider to create a safety plan that includes strategies for de-escalation, support during transitions, and consistent check-ins. 

 General Tips

  • Be Honest and Open: Share your observations and feelings without judgment, focusing on the child’s experience. 
  • Collaborate with Professionals: Work together with the mental health provider to create a supportive environment that addresses these complex family dynamics. 
  • Prioritize the Child’s Well-Being: Always frame discussions around the best interests of the child, focusing on emotional safety and growth. 

Navigating these issues can be challenging, but with open communication and a focus on support, it’s possible to create a healthier environment for the child. The struggle for connection in the face of separation is a challenge many young people know too well. Visitation is not just a routine; it’s a lifeline that can impact their mental health in profound ways. Prioritizing and facilitating these connections nurtures resilience and promotes well-being among youth in care. Let’s work together to ensure that every young person knows they are not alone, and that their family ties—no matter the distance—are worth fighting for.    

Looking for Additional Resources?

Visit the Knowledge Hub to access models of intervention, training resources, and practical tools to strengthen cross-system collaboration and improve outcomes for children, youth, and families.