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Building Trust After Trauma: Supporting Children in Adoptive and Foster Families 

Building Trust After Trauma: Supporting Children in Adoptive and Foster Families 

by | Mar 16, 2026 | Adoption Competent Services>Trauma-Informed Care, for Caregivers and Families, Foster Care, Parenting

Building Trust After Trauma: Supporting Children in Adoptive and Foster Families 

Placement, no matter how well-intended, is a significant transition. Children and youth who have been impacted by child welfare often experience early trauma, loss, disrupted attachments, and grief, which causes adaptive survival responses that can be mistaken for challenging behaviors. Because these children have adverse childhood experiences, such as exposure to neglect, substance use, violence, and placement instability, they are more likely to encounter mental health challenges. These challenges shape how they view the world, interact with caregivers, and assess safety.  

When a child is subject to an unsafe or unstable environment, they develop survival strategies that help them cope, but those strategies can cause conflict within a family. Common behaviors include:  

  • Emotional withdrawal (as evident by pushing people away, specifically caregivers) 

  • Social relationship deficits 

  • Emotional dysregulation 

  • Poor inhibitory control 

  • Increased psychological reactivity 

Rather than viewing these behaviors as destructive or defiant, parents and caregivers should respond with empathy, a focus on strengthening attachment, and recognize that trust-building is an ongoing process. Behavior often reflects fear, not defiance. By lea ing practical ways to respond to a child’s unmet needs as reflected through behavior, parents and caregivers can create a safe, stable environment that increases permanency and strengthens familial relationships over time.  

Safe Space: The First Step to Building Trust 

Parents and caregivers of children affected by child welfare can begin building trust by understanding the importance of safety. Safety extends beyond physical care to emotional security. Safety is fostered by sensitivity, consistency, and emotional presence. Some ways that caregivers can support children in feeling safe include:  

  • Respond with Empathy: Showing love, empathy, and support while allowing children to identify and express their feelings  

  • Create Predictability: Maintaining consistency in routines, boundaries, and expectations so a child doesn’t have to guess what happens next 

  • Model Positive Behaviors: Modeling patience, resilience, emotional regulation, consistency, and accountability 

  • Address Physical Safety: Assuring children that they are physically safe can help them develop feelings of trust and openness to psychological and emotional well-being 

Image of Caregiver (Parents) embracing adopted/foster children.

Connection, Not Control 

Caregivers must prioritize relationship-building over compliance. Although structure is an integral part of a child’s development, children who have experienced complex trauma benefit more when they experience a connection that makes them feel seen, valued, and supported.  There are several ways for caregivers to foster connections. They include: 

  •  Family Fun: Engaging in family activities and meaningful interactions without pressure 

  • You Belong: Implementing parts of the child’s life into everyday family life to make them feel included 

  • Get to Know Me: Expressing genuine interest in a child’s life, preferences, and experiences 

  • I’m Here for You: Showing empathy and curiosity about their behavior, rather than just condemning it or rushing to implement consequences 

  • I Understand: Identifying and validating a child’s emotions without judgment 

When caregivers focus on relationships rather than control, children internalize an essential message: my caregiver is safe, even when I face challenges. 

Image of Caregiver (Parents) interacting with adopted/foster child in a playful matter.

Securing Attachment 

Secure attachment develops when a child recognizes a caregiver as consistent, reliable, and emotionally available. Securing attachment after experiencing trauma takes time and work on the part of both the child and the caregiver. Still, it provides a sense of safety that children who have been impacted by child welfare may not have ever experienced in their short lifetime. Caregivers can support secure attachment by:  

  • Responding to emotional needs, even when those emotions may feel overwhelming or repetitive 

  • Foster an environment that allows children to depend on adults, rather than pushing for them to be independent 

  • Working with an adoption competent therapist who can assist in implementing interventions and strategies that can foster parent-child attachment 

Securing attachment takes time and patience, as many children may not be receptive at first. Some children may initially resist attachment behaviors, such as seeking comfort or asking for help. Others may appear overly clingy or anxious. Both responses are normal and reflect a child’s past experiences, not their future potential. Regardless of how children respond, caregivers must be present during their most difficult moments.  

How Can Adoption Competence Help? 

Parenting children impacted by trauma is complex, but caregivers do not have to do it alone. Adoption competent mental health providers understand how early adversity, attachment disruptions, and loss affect children and families. Seeking support early can make a significant difference, not because something is wrong, but because healing occurs best in safe and supportive relationships.  

The National Center offers an array of resources, training, and support to help children and families affected by child welfare heal, thrive, and achieve permanence. The National Center trains mental health providers who can support caregivers in understanding trauma-driven behaviors, provide interventions that focus on strengthening relationships rather than just reducing symptoms, and help families navigate challenges without shame or blame.  

Hope and Healing 

Building trust after trauma is a gradual process. Progress might seem slow, uneven, or difficult to measure. There may be setbacks, regressions, and moments of doubt. But every calm response, every repaired moment, and every consistent act of care matters. Children heal through relationships, and caregivers play a vital role in helping them understand that adults can be safe, reliable, and loving. Trust is built one interaction at a time, and over time, these moments add up to something enduring. By approaching parenting with patience, empathy, and trauma-aware understanding, families affected by child welfare foster the conditions for healing, connection, and stability. 

Image of a family consisting of caregivers (Parents) and adopted/foster child interacting with a counselor in their home.

 

Looking for Additional Resources?

Visit the Knowledge Hub to access models of intervention, training resources, and practical tools to strengthen cross-system collaboration and improve outcomes for children, youth, and families. 

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Caregiver Mental Health Support Guide 

Caregiver Mental Health Support Guide 

by | Mar 16, 2026 | Child Welfare Competent MH, Fatherhood, for Caregivers and Families, Mental Health, Motherhood, Parenting

Caregiver Mental Health Support Guide 

Being a caregiver for a child or youth isn’t easy. However, caring for children who have experienced trauma, loss, and identity disruptions can be especially challenging. Caregivers of children and youth with child welfare experience can face especially tough circumstances, all of which can lead to caregiver stress, burnout, and exhaustion. The well-being of caregivers is vital to the overall health and functioning of their families. This guide offers simple ways to recognize stress and access support. 

Recognizing Caregiver Stress 

Caregiver stress can show up at any time and in many ways. Paying attention to early signs is the first line of defense against stress. Common signs of caregiver stress include:  

  • Physical Challenges: fatigue and sleep challenges, headaches, joint or muscle tension, weakened immune system, exhaustion, stomach issues, and restlessness 

  • Cognitive Challenges: difficulty concentrating or making decisions, impaired functioning, unable to perform at desired levels, struggling to execute daily activities, difficulty staying focused, and issues processing information 

  • Emotional Challenges: Irritability, feelings of guilt or failure, withdrawing from family, friends, and activities, feeling overwhelmed or “on edge”, emotional suppression, anxiety, panic, and depression 

Identifying these symptoms enables caregivers to respond before burnout sets in.  

 Ways to Support Caregiver Mental Health 

Small, consistent steps can make a difference in caregiver health and wellness, including: 

  • Not Just a Parent: Caregivers can benefit from participating in meaningful activities beyond parenting, such as hobbies, physical activities, career or educational growth, or regularly connecting with others. 

  • Whole-Family Care: Caregivers often focus solely on a child’s needs, but they need to embrace family-based support for long-term stability. 

  • Practice Compassion: Using self-compassion not only improves parenting sensitivity, but it is also linked to lower levels of stress, anxiety, and caregiver burnout. Caregivers should avoid setting unrealistic standards and replace self-criticism with supportive language. 

  • Access Trauma-informed Mental Health Support: Families impacted by child welfare deserve care that understands their unique challenges. This care can be accessed via adoption competent mental health professionals, parent peer support or support groups, family therapy, and crisis lines for immediate support.  

 How Can the National Center Support Caregivers 

Caregiving is a long journey, and support should grow with them. The National Center works with caregivers, mental health providers, and cross-system professionals to ensure that systems are adoption competent, trauma-informed, and family-focused. The National Center recognizes that the complexities of trauma not only impact children, but their caregivers as well. We support caregivers by:  

1. Promoting adoption competent mental health systems 

2. Providing resources and monthly webinars for caregivers and the professionals that serve them 

3. Strengthening peer and community support 

4. Advancing policy and systems change 

5. Elevating the caregiver voice 

The National Center ensures that caregiver support is sustainable, accessible, and responsive.  

Caregivers Matter 

Prioritizing mental health strengthens capacity, relationships, and family stability. Caregiver well-being directly influences child regulation, attachment security, placement stability, and improved long-term mental health outcomes.  

Adoptive/Foster family meeting with counselor.

 

 

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Families First: Understanding Kinship Care  

Families First: Understanding Kinship Care  

by | Jan 23, 2026 | Adoption Competent Services, Child Welfare Competent MH, for Caregivers and Families, Kinship Care, Mental Health, Parenting

Families First: Understanding Kinship Care  

 

One night, while relaxing at home, Kayla received a surprise call from child welfare. Her sister had been deemed unable to safely care for her three children due to untreated mental health challenges, substance abuse, and housing instability. Faced with the possibility that her nieces, aged 4 and 11, and her nephew, aged 9, would enter foster care with strangers or be separated from each other, Kayla made a life-altering decision: she stepped in. Driven by love and responsibility, Kayla became a full-time caregiver.  

Like many kinship caregivers, Kayla was unprepared for the realities of navigating court hearings, school enrollment, trauma-related behaviors, or the emotional challenge of explaining to children why they could no longer live with their mother. Kayla had no prior experience with the child welfare system and no roadmap for managing such a profound transition.  

What she did have was a strong, shared bond with the children and knowledge of their family history, routines, and cultural identity. She knew, no matter what, they could overcome obstacles as a family.  

 

 

The Power of Kinship Care 

According to the U.S. Office of Personnel Management, kinship care is defined as the full-time care, nurturing, and protection of children by relatives or individuals with a significant familial or cultural bond. According to the Kids Count Data Center, approximately 2.5 million children and youth are in kinship care arrangements.  

Unlike non-relative foster care or adoption, kinship care allows a child to remain in a familiar environment, fostering a greater sense of identity and belonging, maintaining familial, cultural, and community connections, and increasing the likelihood that siblings will remain together. Kinship placements help minimize the trauma of being separated from their parents and preserve a sense of identity, all of which are beneficial mentally and emotionally. Research shows that children placed in kinship care experience greater placement stability and fewer behavioral challenges than those placed in non-relative foster care.  

 

Challenges in Kinship Care  

Although there is evidence that kinship care produces better behavioral outcomes for children and youth, many families do not receive the support and supervision that traditional foster and adoption families do. Kinship caregivers frequently fall through the cracks of traditional service systems. Common challenges include:  

 

        • Lack of training and preparation for guardianship 
        • Lack of knowledge of child welfare, education, and healthcare systems 
        • Lack of awareness of or access to support services 
        • Financial strain and limited access to resources 
        • Need for legal assistance
        • Caregiver stress, burnout, and secondary trauma 

 Caregivers like Kayla may not identify as foster or adoptive parents, but they shoulder the same responsibilities and emotional demands. 

 

Mental Health Needs in Kinship Care 

While children in kinship placements can experience better behavioral outcomes, they are not immune to the core issues that children and youth with child welfare experience, including complex trauma, ambiguous loss, grief, identity questions, and attachment disruptions. Whether a child is adopted by a relative, placed under guardianship, or raised informally by kin, they still have been separated from their biological family, which can create complex and layered mental health needs. In Kayla’s case, her nieces and nephew stayed with family. However, they still experienced profound loss due to separation from their parents, uncertainty about the future, and confusion about changing family roles.  

 

Adoption Competent Mental Health Care Matters in Kinship Care 

For child welfare professionals, supporting kinship families means understanding that placement stability alone does not guarantee healing. Adoption competent mental health services offer a vital framework for addressing the long-term emotional and relational needs of both children and caregivers involved in kinship care. 

When child welfare professionals intentionally connect kinship families to mental health services that can support permanency, they help ensure that families are not just keeping children safe but are also able to foster healing and growth. With over 20 years of experience providing adoption-competent care at C.A.S.E., we have seen firsthand how investing in adoption-competent, kinship-inclusive mental health care strengthens permanency, eases caregiver bu out, and supports lasting well-being for children and families. 

 

The National Center Supports Kinship Care 

The National Center for Adoption Competent Mental Health Services equips child welfare, mental health, and education professionals, as well as families, with the tools needed to recognize the unique intersections of trauma, loss, attachment, and family dynamics that arise in kinship placements. We also provide resources and support caregivers like Kayla by validating caregiver stress, strengthening caregiver-child relationships, and helping families navigate complex emotions without minimizing the child’s history or experiences. 

 

 

Looking for Additional Resources?

Visit the Knowledge Hub to access models of intervention, training resources, and practical tools to strengthen cross-system collaboration and improve outcomes for children, youth, and families. 

Knowledge Hub
Centering Lived Experience: Oklahoma Launches Lived Experience Competent Care Advisory Council

Centering Lived Experience: Oklahoma Launches Lived Experience Competent Care Advisory Council

by | Jan 20, 2026 | Adoption Competent Trainings, Child Welfare Competent MH>Adoption Competent Services, for Caregivers and Families, Lived Experience, Mental Health, Parenting, Special Event, Support Groups

Centering Lived Experience:

Oklahoma Launches Lived Experience Competent Care Advisory Council

 

The National Center, in partnership with our co-sponsor, the OU Center for Adoption and Family Well-Being, was proud to celebrate the successful launch events for the Oklahoma Lived Experience Competent Care Advisory Council. These gatherings marked a significant milestone in Oklahoma’s commitment to elevating lived experience as a driving force in bridging the gap between mental health services and child welfare, strengthening adoption competency, and advancing family well-being. 

This council is the first statewide body of its kind in Oklahoma to be fully led by Lived Experience Champions. Each council member brings direct experience connected to foster care—whether as a current youth or alumni of foster care, an adult adopted from foster care, a biological parent, a foster parent, an adoptive parent, or a kinship caregiver. This intentional structure ensures that the voices shaping policy, practice, and support systems are those who they most impact. 

To kick off this work, we hosted two launch events—one in Oklahoma City and one in Tulsa—on January 12 and 13, 2026. Across both events, 33 individuals with lived experience participated, representing a powerful group of people directly impacted by the foster care system. Their presence, insights, and leadership set the tone for what this council is designed to be: a space where lived expertise is centered, respected, and used to drive meaningful change. 

The events were moderated by Bonni Goodwin, Ph.D., a mental health expert whose leadership created a welcoming, reflective, and energizing environment. The heart of both gatherings, however, came from our three Lived Experience Champions, who guided conversations, facilitated activities, and modeled what it means to lead with authenticity and courage. Their leadership helped participants explore how lived experience can inform policy, strengthen practice, and shape support systems across the state. 

Throughout the sessions, participants engaged in thoughtful dialogue, reflected on their own experiences, and explored both current initiatives and new ideas for Oklahoma. These conversations highlighted the strengths within Oklahoma communities and the opportunities ahead to build mental health and child-serving systems that truly listen to and respond to those they serve. 

The energy across both events was powerful. Participants expressed excitement, hope, and a shared belief that this council can become a catalyst for long-term, sustainable change. The turnout and engagement demonstrated how ready Oklahoma is to build a future where lived experience is not only included but centered. 

This launch was just the beginning. The council’s official formation was on March 31, 2026, when members began setting priorities, establishing a structure, and identifying key areas where lived experience can have the greatest impact. As the council grows, it will serve as a model for how states can meaningfully integrate lived expertise into their systems—not as an afterthought, but as a core component of adoption competent, compassionate, and effective care. 

We are deeply grateful to everyone who participated in the launch events and to all who continue to champion the importance of lived experience in Oklahoma and beyond. The work ahead is significant, but the passion and leadership demonstrated at these events give us confidence that the council will make a lasting difference for children, youth, families, and communities for years to come. 

Together, we are building a future where lived experience is recognized, respected, and centered in every conversation about adoption competent and trauma-informed care, support, and community wellbeing. The momentum is strong, and we are excited for what comes next. 

 

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Webinar Reflection: Fatherhood Reimagined: Parenting Through Change, Challenge, and Healing

Webinar Reflection: Fatherhood Reimagined: Parenting Through Change, Challenge, and Healing

by | Aug 11, 2025 | Adoption Competent Services, Child Welfare Competent MH, Fatherhood, for Caregivers and Families, Mental Health, Webinars

 

 

 

Webinar Reflection: Fatherhood Reimagined: Parenting Through Change, Challenge, and Healing

By Edward A. Casillas

 

I recently viewed Mental Health America’s webinar, Fatherhood Reimagined: Parenting Through Change, Challenge, and Healing, a panel discussion featuring three fathers.

As a father and fatherhood consultant, I was struck by how the discussion shed light on the often-overlooked mental health challenges fathers face. In my experience, I’ve witnessed firsthand how a father’s mental health and emotional well-being profoundly impact his relationship with his children — influencing not just how he shows up, but how his children inte alize love, stability, and self-worth.

Fathers are frequently expected to navigate family challenges without adequate tools to manage their own inte al struggles. As Bradley Vinson aptly puts it, “Expectations without instructions” encapsulates the experience of many men. Society places significant demands on fathers — to provide, protect, nurture, and lead — yet often fails to provide guidance or spaces for them to process their pain and find healing.

I also appreciated Luis Resendez’s insight that fathers and their families have “different needs at different times.” Fathers may need education, affirmation, and encouragement as they navigate new parenthood, while later requiring deeper therapeutic support to address depression, grief, or feelings of inadequacy. These evolving needs often go unnoticed because fathers tend to conceal their struggles. Unaddressed mental health challenges can diminish a father’s confidence, strain his relationships, and inadvertently teach unhealthy coping mechanisms to his children.

Conversely, I’ve seen profound transformations when fathers are empowered with the resources and permission to prioritize their mental health — benefiting not only themselves but also enriching their relationships and renewing their sense of purpose.

Patrick Skildum said, “A father’s vulnerability is not his weakness; it is his greatest gift to his children.” Encouraging fathers to acknowledge and care for their mental health — embracing their humanity — not only strengthens them but also teaches their children that it’s acceptable to feel, to face challenges, and to seek healing.

We have a responsibility to advocate for tailored mental health supports for fathers, reminding them — and those around them — that they are not alone. Equipping fathers with compassion and practical tools to thrive is crucial; a father’s healing becomes his children’s foundation, and investing in his mental health is one of the most impactful ways to strengthen families and communities.

 

Webinar: Helping Mental Health Providers Achieve Outcomes that Matter Most

Webinar: Helping Mental Health Providers Achieve Outcomes that Matter Most

by | Jul 25, 2025 | Access to Mental Health Services, Adoption Competent Trainings, Child Welfare Competent MH>Adoption Competent Services, Cultural Competency, for Caregivers and Families, For Professionals, Mental Health, Webinars

WEBINAR:

Helping Mental Health Providers Achieve Outcomes that Matter Most

Join us for a deep dive into what youth and families truly want from behavioral health services and how the National Center is helping providers meet those expectations.

Grounded in findings from national focus groups led by FREDLA and other family-run organizations, this session explores real-world outcomes that matter most to youth and caregivers: respect, cultural responsiveness, individualized care, accessible services, and meaningful collaboration.

Learn how adoption competent, family-informed approaches can drive better care experiences and outcomes across mental health and child welfare services.

Watch the Webinar:
Helping Mental Health Providers Achieve Outcomes that Matter Most

Presenters:

Millie Sweeney
Milley Sweeney

Director of Learning and Workforce Development, FREDLA

Millie Sweeney
Stacy Morgan
Executive Director, Mental Health Transformation Alliance

Looking for Additional Resources?

Visit the Knowledge Hub to access models of intervention, training resources, and practical tools to strengthen cross-system collaboration and improve outcomes for children, youth, and families. 

Knowledge Hub